Commander in a Dress
From Space Tree Wiki
| Space Tree Episode #28 |
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The Commander wears a dress and sings (or does he), not that he likes it. Space Tree is possessed.
Cast (in order of appearance): Space Tree, Random McPerson, Snitch, Commander, Hairy guy, Reginald
Places: The Captain's Club (probably)
Page title: Commander in a Dress
Running time: 3:00
Date: 6/23/05
Contents |
Transcript
One Day in Space...
(open to Space Tree with a bunch of "Boxes o' Cash")
SPACE TREE: Space Tree is totally rich.
(some guy shows up)
RANDOM MCPERSON: Looks like ya got a lotta money there, Space Treeeeee!
SPACE TREE: Hell yeah, boy, and it's all thanks to the guy that's about to walk through that doorway!
(cut to that doorway; the Snitch walks in)
SNITCH: I thought the cucumber-
(a trapdoor opens, and he falls in; the Commander walks in, trampling the Snitch)
SNITCH: Ow! My liver!
COMMANDER: Hey, Space Tree! What's goin on?
SPACE TREE: Hey, Commander. I'm just countin' my money here.
COMMANDER: Don't you mean our money?
SPACE TREE: Yeah, I guess I do, business partner.
COMMANDER: Don't you mean my money?
SPACE TREE: No.
COMMANDER: Well, it occurs to me that I'm the one doin' all the work, (close-up to his mouth) bitch!
SPACE TREE: Did you just call me a bitch?
COMMANDER: Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. But the point is, the way all the money was earned was by people paying to see ME sing in a dress! (holds up said dress) And as I've said several times before, I don't wear this because I like it. It's purely for the money.
SPACE TREE: Look, we already agreed on how we're gonna distribute the money, all right? And to be honest, your whole act is kinda overrated. I mean, if I had ears and eyes, I'd be wearing earplugs and a blindfold. (as he says this, eyes, ears, earplugs, and a blindfold appear on him)
COMMANDER: ...OK, first of all, Space Tree- that kinda language is uncalled for. And secondly, I am TWICE the singer that you'll ever be, (mouth close-up) bitch! And that time, I did say bitch.
SPACE TREE: Oh, yeah? Well, ch-check THIS out.
(the room fades to black, with a spotlight on Space Trizzle)
SPACE TREE: (singing) Spaaaaace TREEEEEEEE!!!
(he lies back and a blue/white S. McTrizzle appears out of him)
REGINALD: I like to water ski!
(cut back to the Commander)
COMMANDER: ... (whispering) That was pretty cool.
SPACE TREE: Wait, what just happened? I just kinda, kinda blacked out there- What the hell? That was weird.
HAIRY GUY: You had the power within you the whole time.
SPACE TREE: Uh, no I didn't. I think I was possessed or something. Commander, what's the number for that exorcism hotline?
COMMANDER: Uh, I think it's... (as he says it, it appears onscreen) 4-100-YOU'RE-NOT-REALLY-POSSESSED-IDIOT.
SPACE TREE: Man, that's a long number.
(Reginald, a blue/white cloud thing with a deep voice, flies out of El Space Tre)
REGINALD: Well, there's no need to dial it tonight, Space Tree! My work here is done!
SPACE TREE: Holy crap! I really WAS possessed? I actually thought I was overreacting a little!
REGINALD: No, you hit the nail right on the head that time. Kinda like this.
(he nails a nail into the Commander's head)
COMMANDER: OW!!! Actually, it didn't hurt that bad!
REGINALD: Well, I know what I'm doin.
SPACE TREE: Look, who the hell are you?
REGINALD: So you see, I was hired by someone to distract you while he stole all of yo' money!
SPACE TREE: My money? What are you talkin about? It's right h- (we see all his money is gone) Ah, son of a- Who took it?!
REGINALD: Well, whoever it is, he left this note. (holds it up)
SPACE TREE: Gimme that.
(as he reads, Reginald, Commander, Hairy Guy, and Random McPerson read over his shoulder)
SPACE TREE: All rihgt, it says... "Dear Space Tree, I stole all of your money to fund the new season of The Clerman Clones, as it was my plan the whole time. Ha ha ha. Love, Professer Clerman." Son of- What a minute, "love"?
COMMANDER: Who the hell is Professer Cler-man?
SPACE TREE: It doesn't matter. You can just do your stupid "Commander in a dress" act a few more times, and we'll make the money all over again. Screw Professer Clerman.
COMMANDER: No-can-do, Space Tree! That nail in the head injured one of my vocal cords. Now I can only sing with an Irish accent!
SPACE TREE: Oh, well, Mama Mia. I mean, damnit!
COMMANDER: Heh. I knew you were Italian.
REGINALD: I gotta admit, I'm a little disapointed that in my short time here, I never got to see you sing in a dress.
(Commander is now eating a "Thing of Chicken")
COMMANDER: Yeah, well, maybe you should shut up.
(super-fast end credits roll)
Easter Eggs
- Click on Space Tree's ST after he grows eyes to see bonus footage. (Also works if you right click and then click play at the ending.)
- Easter Egg Transcript
- Space Tree: If I had ears and eyes, I'd be wearing earmuffs and a blindfold, because I'd rather masturbate with a woodchipper than see your "commander-in-a-dress" act.
- There's also a hidden picture of Commander in a dress at the end.
- When Commander says "That was pretty cool" it says "was it" in the lower left corner.
Trivia
- When The Commander tells Space Tree the phone number for the exorcism hotline, you can read :
4-100-YOU'RE-NOT-REALLY-POSSESSED-IDIOT
($4.95 FOR THE FIRST MINUTE, $4.96 FOR EACH ADDITIONAL MINUTE. HIGHER RATES APPLY WHEN CALLING FROM UNDERWATER AND/OR INSIDE THE STOMACH OF A DRAGON.)- The phone number is 4-100-96873-668-732559-767737733-43468
- Reginalds name was not shown in this Episode. We know it from Episode #34 Allon's Crib
- This Episode (#28) was released one week after Episode 29.
Commentary Track
With Reginald and Allon
ALLON: Hi. My name is Allon Amanolla and this is episode 28 of Space Tree the Space Tree in Space.
REGINALD: Yeah, and my name is Reginald and I'm in this episode tonight, which is more than I can say for you.
ALLON: Well... I just thought it'd be cool to come and talk about it cuz... I still like to watch the episodes that I'm not in. Which is... you know, like 10 episodes.
REGINALD: What, are you tryin' to rub it in that I'm only in like 3?
ALLON: ...Well, yeah.
REGINALD: Well... I only watch the ones that I'm in. I don't really care about the others. You know? They're not important.
ALLON: Well... you know, I guess the episodes... aren't that hard to follow.
REGINALD: Yes, they are, man. I, like, tuned in to the one- that other episode that I'm in, and I'm like, "Who the hell's that character with the purple hat?"
ALLON: Uh, that... that's me.
REGINALD: Oh, right, well, Space Tree looks kinda weird there with the eyes and the nose and the... mouth.
ALLON: ...And the blindfold.
REGINALD: Well, the blindfold looks all right. It's kinda like a bandana-type of thing. Like it's from the streets or something. And he likes to water ski. ... This bit- this part looks pretty cool.
ALLON: Really? I thought it looked kinda lame, to be honest. I mean, I didn't want to be mean to you, cuz I know you had a part in it... and the choreographing or whatever. But... it didn't look that good.
REGINALD: Man, you're just jealous cuz you're not in the episode.
ALLON: ...Yeah, I guess so. I like that guy with one eye... that "had the power within him". He's pretty cool.
REGINALD: He's all right. But, uh... that number isn't real. I tried calling it. Even though I just said there's no need to dial it, I dialed it anyway. I didn't mean to be a hypocrite, but, you know, what are you gonna do?
ALLON: ...That's a nice goatee you got there.
REGINALD: Yeah, it's pretty cool. I grew it especially for this episode.
ALLON: Well, I can see you got more of a... more of like a... what do you call 'em... Mutton chops? Here today?
REGINALD: "Mutton chops", man? They're just sideburns.
ALLON: Yeah, well... that- have you seen that other episode with the sideburns?
REGINALD: No, man, I'm not in it, so I don't watch it.
ALLON: Well, how many arms do you have? They just kinda come out of the side?
REGINALD: I got 2 arms. What do you think I am, some kind of freak? ... I don't like that guy's tattoo. I find it kind of offensive.
ALLON: Why?
REGINALD: I don't know, I'm just kidding. ... See the nail I put in that guy's head? That was pretty funny. That was like the 3rd take. The other two takes, he started crying. Heh. But then I gave him, like, some drugs. Then- and then he could handle it. But it still injured one of his vocal cords, anyway.
ALLON: I think that's like the 2nd time his vocal cords got injured. There- he just found out Space Tree's Italian. I don't think that's true, though. I think the Commander's kinda making it up.
REGINALD: Yeah, well, I want some of that chicken he was eating.
ALLON: OK, let's go get some.
REGINALD: No, I'm gonna go. You- you can stay here.
ALLON: Oh, OK. Bye!
External Links
- Watch "Commander in a Dress"
- View the flash file for "Commander in a Dress"
- View the Commentary Track for "Commander in a Dress"
