Freely McWheely

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home of secret shames since august
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Biography

Aside from avoiding assassination attempts from a three eyed man named Wayne, Freely McWheely III is the President of Space. He also has a secretary named Carol Frank. There was some confusion prior to his debut about his status of life, but it was confirmed that he was, in fact, not dead. He is a green "Crocodile looking kinda thing" who hates trees of any kind, especially talking ones, and those who try to save them. Or, in his own words "I'm the kind of Space president who doesn't waste his Space time saving Space trees from space!" Is this a skillfully worked in satire towards modern governments attitudes towards environmentalism or is it just a bit of absurdest fun? I think we already know...

The true reason for his hatred was revealed in Slave Grave, when the Space Vice President Allon discovered that Freely McWheely was part Tree all along. Aside from Allon, Wayne also knew about that and, because he was mad about not being the Space Vice President, he leaked that Information to Tarbob from Channel K News. So, Freely McWheely decided to reveal his true "Freely McTreely" form (but this term is the dumbest thing Tarbob ever heard). But while he was in his Office, he was accidentally assassinated by Allon, while he tried to escape together with Space Tree and the Commander. Space Tree then tried to act as the Space President (since he is a tree as well, like Freely McWheely), but his cover got blown by Wayne. So Space Tree, Commander X and Allon went back to the ship and Space seems to be presidentless as of right now. He was last seen recooperating in a Space Hospital, though Reginald was talking to some one who may have been the Space Prez talking to him at the end of They Got Johnny, Part 1.

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Memorable Quotes

  • *very high pitched voice* "Who the fuck let that goddamn tree in here?" - Frame Game
  • *Freely McWheely kicks Space Tree*
    Commander: "Uh, I think he's had enough, Mr. McWheely."
    McWheely: "Trust me, son. Tree's can't get enough of this. Here, why don't you try? It's actually kind of... arousing."
    Commander: "Uh, that's alright. I'm really more of a spectator-"
    McWheely: "I SAID KICK! DO IT!!!"
    - Frame Game
  • (To Wayne) "I always knew you were trying to kill me, but I never thought you'd betray me!" - Harassin' Assassin
  • (To Wayne) "Well the only position you'll be getting now is space vice f*** mother f***ing c*** s***er b****** licking f***ing s***ing mother f*boing*er, because I am NOT a t***!"
    - Harassin' Assassin
  • *Tape Recording* "Oh boy, I can't wait to kill Allon...and I'm talking about Allon Amanolla, that little fat green kid with red hair who always wears that stupid purple hat! That's the Allon that I, Freely McWheely am planning to kill. So please leave a message after the beep."
    - Harassin' Assassin
  • McWheely: "Do you realize how many people are trying to kill me each day? Just one, his name is Wayne and he's standing right over there."
    Wayne: "Hello!"
    - I'm Gonna Kill You in the Space
  • Please add some more! - [1]


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