The Marone Mongoose

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Space Tree Episode #25
Business Opportunity Serious Kidnapping
This is an intervention
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This is an intervention

Episode Description: Mee and PinkFrosting88 break into the Captain's Club to steal something. What is that something? Well, I'm sure we'll find out someday.

Cast (in order of appearance): PinkFrosting88, Mee, Space Tree, Professor Clerman, Commander, Allon

Places: The Captain's Club

Page title: breaker breaker

Running time: 4:00

Date: 4/25/05

Contents

Transcript

(it's super-pitch black in the Captain's club; enter PF88 and Mee (only their pearly-white eyes can be seen)

Pinkfrosting88: Well, maybe we should have brought night-vision goggles.

MEE: No way! They mess up my hair. Let's just turn on the light.

Pinkfrosting88: No way! We'll get caught!

MEE: Well, if anyone walks in here, it's not like we'll be able to see 'em coming, will we?

Pinkfrosting88: Of course we will! If any idiot walks in, we'll see their pearly-white eyes glowing in the dark!

(Space Tree turns on the light; Mee had the trumpet for some reason; he drops it and covers PF88's mouth)

MEE: (whispering) Don't move. He can't see us if we don't move...

SPACE TREE: ...The hell are you two doing here?

MEE: Damn it, I told you not to move!

Pinkfrosting88: I didn't! (knocking Mee off) He's not a friggin' T-Rex! It's just Space Tree!

MEE: Oh, yeah. What are you doing here?

SPACE TREE: Well, (clicks mouth), I own this place now.

Pinkfrosting88: Well, what happened to that freak who used to run this place?

MEE: Yeah, that friggin' two-headed freak?

Pinkfrosting88: That guy was a ****in' freak. (One of her tentacles drips fluid)

SPACE TREE: Well, first of all, I think it's technically two guys and-

(enter Professor Clerman with tray of drinks, wearing Allon's hat, on super roller skates)

CLERMAN: Good evening, patrons, and welcome to the Captain's Club. Would any of you care for a complimentary beverage?

SPACE TREE: Complimentary? Hey, those are coming out of your paycheck, Clerman.

MEE: Clerman? Hey, yeah! Aren't you one of the Clerman Clones?

CLERMAN: No, I'm- I'm Allon. The green kid. Look at the freaking hat. (he angrily tosses away his tray of drinks)

MEE: Seriously? You're supposed to be him? Come on, only a complete and total idiot would believe that.

(enter Commander)

COMMANDER: Hey, there, Allon! What's goin' on, pal?

(he punches Clerman off the screen)

(rimshot)

COMMANDER: Pinkfrosting88? Mee? What are you two doing here? Is this an intervention?

Pinkfrosting88: Yes, you have a problem, Commander. You're a total moron.

SPACE TREE: No, I think that they're here to rob the place or something.

MEE: Oh, come on, Space Tree. Would I really steal from my oldest and closest friend?

SPACE TREE: Only, like, once a month.

COMMANDER: Wait a minute, you two were robbing this place together?

MEE: Oh, you didn't hear? Well, Pinkfrosting and I got married about a month ago.

Pinkfrosting88: No, we didn't! Stop telling people that!

MEE: OK, fine. We got "engaged".

Pinkfrosting88: No, we didn't.

MEE: She doesn't know what she's saying. (whispering to Commander) She's having her period. (Commander nods knowingly)

Pinkfrosting88: Oh my God, just shut up!

SPACE TREE: How bout everyone shuts up?! (throughout his speech, Commander does the "hand-mock" thing) I was in the middle of eating a delicious cardboard sandwich when you two broke in here! Now, I've lost a lot of money this past week, and I'm not letting you steal any more of it, so why don't you both make like a tree and leave!?

COMMANDER: Now hold a second, Space Tree. Who knows what they've already stolen? I say we search them both. (to PF88) I better strip-search this one. (mouth-clicks several times) Wink.

SPACE TREE: No, it's all right. They've just been out here the whole time. They couldnt've stolen anything.

Pinkfrosting88: He's right, you know. We couldn't have stolen anything.

MEE: That is correct, isn't it? We certainly couldn't have.

(dramatic music plays in the background as both Mee and PF88 whip out walkie-talkies and yell into them)

MEE: Come in, Palindromio, this is the Marone Mongoose! Do you copy?!

Pinkfrosting88: Breaker breaker, this is PF88, report to Sector A at once and bring the "prize"-over!

(the music ends, walkie-talkies are gone)

SPACE TREE: What the hell was that?

MEE: Oh, we were just calling our legally adopted henchman. We use him to obtain objects from tight spaces that fat people like Pinkfrosting88 can't get into. (she glares)

(enter Allon, with a package)

ALLON: Here you go! I managed to get the thing without even losing a limb, too!

MEE: Thanks a bunch, my green hermano!

SPACE TREE: Hey, I don't know what that box is, but you can't have it!

MEE: Wait, aren't you gonna say something like, "Oh my God, it's the green kid!", or something?

SPACE TREE: No, I don't care about him. (Allon frowns)

COMMANDER: Wait a minute, if he's Allon (points to real Allon), and he's Allon (points to unconscious Clerman), have I crossed over into some kind of crazy, parallel, double-Allon universe?! NOOOOOOOOOO!!! (he leaps through the window of the club into Space)

MEE: Yeah, that's more like it.

SPACE TREE: So, anyway, like I was saying, you cannot leave with that box!

(some droid rolls up; Space Tree pushes a button on it, closing the door to The Only Exit)

MEE: Oh my God, he locked the doors on us!

Pinkfrosting88: Oh my God, no, what're we gonna do now?!

MEE: I don't know! We're done for!

Pinkfrosting88: Jesus, we're gonna ****in' die here! Oh my God!

MEE: Quick, Allon, did you bring the emergency suicide pills?!

ALLON: (nervous) ...What the hell are you two talking about?

MEE: All right, he ruined it. Let's go. (Mee creates a portal, he and PF88 leave)

ALLON: ...Oh, yeah! Now I get it! (leaves too)

MEE: (to ST, leaning back through the portal) And if anyone axes who robbed you, just say it was the greatest crime trio in all of the land! ...We don;t have a name yet, but we'll think of one soon and get back to you. (the portal closes)

(the Commander walks back in with cuts on his face)

COMMANDER: Well, Space Tree, it just goes to show ya! Jumping through glass windows really, really hurts!

SPACE TREE: Then why do you do it every day?

COMMANDER: Because I needed the eggs!

(roll cheap laugh track; freeze-frame)

(roll fast end credits with dramatic music)

Trivia

  • The end credits read:

Cast (in order of appearance)

PinkFrosting88......ED ATLIN
Meelord Marone......ED ATLIN
Space Tree..........ED ATLIN
Professer Clerman...ED ATLIN
The Commander.......ED ATLIN
and featuring ALLON AMANOLLA as himself

- Music by Joe Brouhaha
- Sinking to a new low by Ed Atlin

  • The Commander's "intervention" line is a reference to the Bonus Stage episode "Fibbing", in which Space Tree and the Commander guest-starred in.

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